


Friday, Never Hesitate

by wings_g_leviosa



Series: Friday [1]
Category: IT (2017), IT - Stephen King
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, F/M, M/M, Soulmate-Identifying Marks, eddie's mom is a jerk, just terrible parents all around, pennywise stays dead where he belongs, placebos, seriously
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-04
Updated: 2017-10-17
Packaged: 2019-01-08 22:05:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 14,519
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12262989
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wings_g_leviosa/pseuds/wings_g_leviosa
Summary: The next day, his mother told him to swallow a new pill. Oblong, slightly pink in color. It was bitter on his tongue, and he didn’t like it.





	1. Monday

**Author's Note:**

  * Translation into Русский available: [Пятница, и все сомнения прочь](https://archiveofourown.org/works/13103256) by [Unforgiven2205](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Unforgiven2205/pseuds/Unforgiven2205)



Eddie had been laying on the freshly mown grass of his back lawn, running his palms over the prickles, tickles taking over his nerves. The sky was an unmarred blue expanse, not a single cloud blocking his view. The gentle breeze ruffling his hair wasn’t quite cold, but warned of the coming season. He was seven years old.

His mother hadn’t known he was out there, taking in the lovely afternoon. He had just gotten results from his allergy test earlier that month, so he wasn’t allowed outside so much anymore. He was allergic to grass, according to his mother, but he felt fine now, calm. His new inhaler was sore against his bottom through the thin fabric of his back pocket. His palms were still smarting a little from getting pushed in the hallway at school. He’d landed hard, but he didn’t tell his mom. He already wasn’t allowed to run or dig in the dirt with the other kids, he was too sick. He’d only get shoved again. 

But Eddie wasn’t thinking about that now. He thought about today’s lesson.

She told them about soulmates.

Soulmates were like a best friend. They wouldn’t leave you behind. They loved you unconditionally. Everyone had one. They grew in when you were about Eddie’s age, coloring your skin in a way that only one other person could match. Like your adult teeth; just something that happens when you grow up. Kids in his class chattered about their parent’s soulmarks, and how they were colored, how they sometimes looked like shapes or objects. The few that were lucky enough to have their own proudly displayed them, a few even getting in trouble for shedding clothing in order to properly show off. 

Eddie did not have his yet. 

He thought his mother did. She had a splotchy mark right above her elbow that was usually covered by the sleeves of her dresses and blouses. He asked her about it one day, a long while before that day. She became very upset, and he never brought it up again. Hers was not colorful, though. It was a monochrome grey color, washed out.

Eddie ran his fingers gently, over the soft, unmarked skin of his arm. What would his mark look like? What colors would it be? Would it hurt, like scraping your knee? Would it be like drinking soda, light and funny feeling?

“Eddie, are you- EDWARD, YOU GET OUT OF THAT GRASS THIS MINUTE!” Eddie turned his head to see his mother standing on the porch, plump face flushed with anger. He scrambled to get inside, but she blocked his path with her rotund body.

“What did I tell you about grass? It flares up your allergies. Why aren’t you listening to me.” She sounded very upset, and shame began bubbling up in the pit of his stomach.

“I’m sorry Mama. I don’t want you to be sad.”

“What happens if you get sick, Eddie? You could die, you could get hurt. Then I’ll be all alone.”

Those words rang through Eddie’s head as he lay on his bed later that night. Hot tears of shame dripped out of his eyes, his mother’s anger and upsetness clinging to his insides. 

He made a promise to listen to her forever. He didn’t want her to be alone.

-

Eddie went up to his teacher the next day, a question burning bright in his little mind.

“Mrs. Jones, I have a question.”

“Of course, Eddie. What’s the problem?”

“It’s about soul mates. What happens when they aren’t colorful? Everyone says they’re colorful, but my mom’s isn’t.”

She looked around, making sure they couldn’t be overheard.

“Well, soulmarks can go grey when one soulmate dies. It’s really very sad.”

“My dad died.”

“That’s probably why. Don’t worry about it too much, okay? Go play.”

And he shuffled along with the rest of the students, mind heavy. Of course his mother was so protective. Eddie’s dad died when Eddie was only a baby. He was sick. 

How terrible it must be to have someone so important die like that. Eddie couldn’t get sick. He wouldn’t. 

-

The air had grown a little colder when Eddie made his very first friends. 

The air was growing crisp with the feeling of fall. Leaves began to change, leaving behind green newness for burnt oranges and reds.   
Eddie sat alone under one of the large oak trees littered throughout the recess yard, a book nestled in his lap. It was a book with pictures, large and colorful. A prince searching far and wide for his soulmate, a beautiful princess with a pretty soul mark. He traced the smooth lines on the page with the tip of his index finger.

Suddenly, his head was knocked back with the force of something hitting it. It fell into his shock wide mouth and fought to get to his eyes. He cautiously raised his hands to his face, trying in vain to wipe the grainy substance off of him. Sand. Of course. He heard sniggers coming from whoever threw it, hot tears starting to spill from his eyes. Sand gritted against his teeth and stuck to his tongue, rattling with every breath. He could feel his throat closing, panic setting in.

He needed his inhaler. He reached to grab it out of his back pocket, but it slipped from his clumsy grasp, clattering on the ground. 

But then, he felt a warm hand on his back, and his world changed forever.

“Is this yours?” asked a voice, a little raspy. His inhaler was pushed into his hands, and he nodded thankfully, taking a large puff and feeling it settle against his throat. A pair of hands, probably belonging to the voice, pushed the sand out of his eyes and hair. When Eddie finally opened his eyes, he was staring a Richie Tozier. Richie Tozier who was in trouble for talking all the time for talking and making jokes, and had glasses that took over his whole face. Richie Tozier who had picked up Eddie’s inhaler to help him in his earliest time of need. 

“Thank you,” Eddie mumbled.

“Why were those kids mean to you?” Richie asked, barely even acknowledging the gratitude shown to him. 

“I dunno. I told them I can’t play because I’m sick. My mom says I can’t run cause I’ll get hurt.”

“You won’t get hurt. That’s stupid.” Richie’s elbows were covered in bandages and he had skinned knees and holes in his jeans. Getting hurt seemed like an inevitability.

“It’s not. And saying stupid isn’t very nice either.”

They regarded each other in silence for a moment, before Richie began laughing. It was a boisterous and howling thing, and it was the lightest and most joyous sound Eddie had ever heard.

“I like you. Do you want to come play with me and Bill?” He extended a finger towards Bill Denbrough, a lanky boy with mousy hair who spoke with an awful stutter. He rose his eyes up toward them, raising a hand and waving a little.

Eddie thought of how his mom told him that the other boys are too rough for him, that he had to keep himself safe. But these boys seemed just fine.

“Okay. My name’s Eddie.”

“I know that Eddie Spaghetti, we’re in the same class remember?”

And he let himself be led into the open embrace of friendship.

-

It was a Monday night. Nearly a week had passed since Eddie met his newfound friends. They played during recess everyday, laughing at Richie’s jokes and digging tunnels in the hard-packed sand of the playground.

Eddie layed in bed, head singing with fond memories. Soulmates were no longer the focus of his little brain; he had all he needed right here. Good friends and his Mama, who fretted over him when he told her about the sand attack. He told her excitedly about his new friends, and she was very quiet. But she couldn’t have been upset. Not when Eddie was so happy.

His back hurt, though. It had been hurting all day, a dull throb right between his shoulder blades, the exact place where Richie had placed his hand as he handed Eddie his inhaler last week. But the pain had become sharper. He didn’t want to worry Mama, but he needed to do something.

Eddie walked carefully down the stairs, socked feet making little noise against the carpeting. His mother laid asleep in her chair, television still washing the room in a blue glow. 

“Mama,” he said gently, shaking her awake. “Mama, my back hurts really bad.”

“Where?” she asked, sitting up ramrod straight. “Show me.”

He pointed to his back, right in the middle. She lifted up the back of his shirt, quietly examining the source of his pain. Eddie could barely catch her breathing hitch, before she forced his shirt back down again.

“You must be having an allergic reaction. Or you’ve been playing too much with those other rowdy boys. I’ll go to the doctor tomorrow and get you some medicine. Go back to bed.”

And he went.

The next day, his mother told him to swallow a new pill. Oblong, slightly pink in color. It was bitter on his tongue, and he didn’t like it. The back pain went away after a couple of days.

But his Mama told him to keep taking them. 

He didn’t want to upset her.


	2. Tuesday

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It was a Tuesday. Eddie was 11.

Eddie ran for one of the first times in his entire life, limbs awkwardly flailing in an attempt to escape the pounding of feet behind him. He finally caught sight of a bathroom, screeching around the tight corner and slamming the door behind him. He clambered on top of the toilet seat in one of the stalls, hugging his knees tight to his chest. The footsteps of his pursuers thundered in moments later, followed by the sounds of fists banging on the door.

It was a Tuesday. Eddie was 11.

The pounding and shouting faded on down the hall eventually, but Eddie stayed put, trying and failing to keep his face dry of tears. He took a quick puff from his inhaler, trying to dispel the panic still lingering in his chest. 

“Eds? You in here?” a voice asked, echoing off the tile walls of the bathroom. 

“Don’t call me Eds, Richie. You know I don’t like that.”

“There you are. What happened?”

Eddie could see Richie’s large eyes through the crack in the stall door, magnified through the thick lenses of his glasses. He sighed, pushing the door open, forcing Richie aside. He stared at himself in the mirror, swiping at the drying tear tracks adorning his cheeks.

“Nothing. Just those kids in gym being jerks.”

It was not nothing. They saw something while they were all in the showers, or rather, a lack of something. Eddie didn’t have a soulmark. And, by extension, Eddie didn’t have a soulmate.

“Come on, Bill’s probably wondering where we are,” Richie said, giving Eddie a gentle pat between his shoulders.

“Yeah, right. Let’s go.”

-

Eddie usually wasn’t allowed out of the house much once he got home. His mom was still worried about him getting hurt, and he still took all of the same pills he did when he was younger, maybe even a few more. And he took them diligently. He didn’t want to make her upset. 

But today, he was going to a sleepover for the first time at Richie’s house. He’d had to beg his mom over and over, and she finally cracked. And so, after school, she loaded him up with all his medication and several pairs of everything he could possibly need. With a big smacking kiss to the forehead, he was on his way.

The air was cool, whizzing through his short hair as he pedaled his bike through the streets of Derry. A few straggling pedestrians wandered around on the sidewalks, shuffling on their way back home from school and work. 

When he pulled into Richie’s yard, he recognized both Bill and Stan’s bikes leaning against the side of the house. Sure enough, inside they sat, already starting a movie and chattering amongst themselves. Richie caught sight of Eddie through the screen door, cracked a grin and leapt up to let him in.

“Howdy Eds, thought you’d never show up.” He tried to make his voice sound funny, but it just sounded really weird.

“My mom told me I needed to take all my medicine. She doesn’t want me to get sick.” Richie wrinkled his nose.

“You won’t get sick. That’s crazy.”

“Is not. It’s flu season, anyone could be sick.”

“Flu season? You can get a flu any ol’ time. That’s dumb.”

“Is not.”

“Is too!”

“H-h-hey, the good p-part is coming u-up,” stated Bill from the other room, barely getting the sentence out. Stan nodded in agreement, blowing a loose bit of hair out of his eyes.

They all sat in relative silence for most of the movie, only making the occasional comment of telling Richie to please stop making fun of the characters and just enjoy the show. Eddie looked around at his friends, happy to be sitting surrounded by company, rather than sitting alone in his room. 

“Hey, did you guys hear?” Stan asked, eyes not leaving the television as the credits rolled across the screen.   
“Of course, Stan-the-man, I did hear. I’m doing it now!”

“Shut up Richie. Greta met her soulmate today. In the cafeteria.”

Greta was the pharmacist's daughter, and she was possibly one of the worst human beings to grace the earth. In the grade above them, she thought it appropriate to make their lives hell for simply existing. Eddie, who had to go to the drug store on a near daily basis, was quite familiar with her antics. To think someone like that could have a soulmate was very jarring. 

“W-w-who was it?” asked Bill, shock laying low beneath his features. 

“I dunno. One of those jerk guys from gym, I think.”

Eddie’s skin crawled, thinking back to earlier that week when he was chased out of the gym and into the boy's bathroom. The skin between his shoulder blades itched, and he swiped his nails across it a few times. 

“I can’t tell if finding your soulmate young is a good thing or not. I mean, you know sooner, but what about the bad stuff?” Eddie inquired, more thinking aloud than expecting an answer. 

“I guess I know what you mean. Like, what if you decide as a kid you want to just be platonic but then change your mind? Or vise versa? It’s pretty young to make a decision like that,” said Stan, scratching at his nose. Eddie caught a glimpse of his soulmark, a colorful, sweeping feather shape. It rested comfortably over the hollow of his slender wrist, winking, taunting. 

“I-I-I dunno? I think having s-someone like that from the time you’re little w-w-would be nice?”

“Of course you would think that, Billy Boy, you ol’ sap,” Richie crooned, jokingly thumping Bill on the back. Eddie itched again. 

-

The flashing lights from the television screen danced and blinked against the white walls of Richie’s living room. It was very late, and Eddie was the only one awake. Stan and Bill lay on the ground, sound asleep, backs pressed against each other for warmth. Richie’s head drooped against the back of the couch, legs curled beneath him and soft breaths puffing from his parted mouth. 

Eddie thought back to the other day, and the kids who taunted him for being different. Catching a glimpse of his colorless body in the showers, pointing and making a scene. 

Freak!

Forever alone!

Little Eddie doesn’t have a soulmark!

Weirdo!

He scratched at his shoulder blades again, running his nails across the skin there over and over again.

A loud crash emitted from the TV, causing Richie to jolt awake. He looked around in mild panic for a moment, before he scrubbed his eyes under his glasses and looked at Eddie.

“Why are you scratching like that? It looks like it hurts.”

“I dunno, my back itches like that sometimes. I think it’s allergies.”

“Let me see.”

Eddie hesitated for a moment, nervous energy bubbling up in the pit of his stomach. He finally relented though, turning enough so Richie could lift up the back of his shirt and examine the offending skin.

“It’s really red. Are you sure you’re okay?”

“Yeah, I’m sure.”

A beat passed between them. But, slowly, Eddie felt the cool palm of Richie’s hand press gently against the irritation, rubbing small, gentle circles.

“Are you sure it wasn’t something those guys from gym did?” His voice was uncharacteristically gentle, worry ever present in his expression and tone. 

“No, I’m sure. They mostly just yelled at me a bit.”

“Why were they so upset in the first place? I’m sure our Eddie Spaghetti wouldn’t just start a fight.”

Eddie tore a bit of dried skin off his bottom lip, the tang of blood singing on his tongue. 

“I don’t have a soulmark.”

“What?”

“A soulmark. I don’t have one. I never have.”

Richie was deathly silent.

“I’ve never heard of that happening before. What’re you gonna do?”

He shrugged, feeling his face heat up with shame just a little. 

“I guess I’ll just be alone forever.”

“No, you won’t,” Richie scoffed, raising his voice almost loud enough to wake up their sleeping friends. “You have your family. And Bill. And Stan. And me.” Eddie smiled a bit at that statement, embarrassment leaving to make way for something warmer. 

Then Richie went quieter for a moment.

“Do you want to see a secret?” Eddie nodded.

Richie shimmied up his shirt a little bit, exposing his bare back. And sure enough, on the top of his back, sat a soulmark. But it was much different than any Eddie had ever seen. It was not grey, like someone whose soul mate had died. But it was not colorful at all.

It looked like it had sat in the sun too long, fading from constant exposure. Now it was only just barely darker than the skin surrounding it. The lines were thin and swirling, forming something that resembled a deep V shape.

“What’s wrong with it?” Eddie asked, words forming shocked and breathy. 

“I dunno. It’s been like that since I first got it.”

They looked at each other, silent understanding passing between them. Eddie felt less alone in that moment, less like he was stranded in his struggle. 

In that moment, Richie became his best friend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A big shout out to my beta, sarahspoonhands. You light up my life. And thank you to everyone who left comments and kudos, it really means an awful lot.
> 
> If you want to check out my tumblr, its cacticool.tumblr.com or londone-fog.tumblr.com. Feel free to chat!


	3. Wednesday

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eddie looked down to see a bright red V hastily scribbled over the S in LOSER. Instead, it read something just a little bit better.

The school bell rang out, releasing all the pressure that had been building up throughout the year. The very beginning of the sweet song of summer. Eddie strode out of his class, side by side with his best friends, laughing and making plans for what to do that day in the Barrens.

Bill’s brother Georgie had been missing for most of the school year.  
Eddie and his friends were 13 years old. 

They had grown and changed much over the years. Bill shot up like a weed, stumbling over his feet as well as his words now. Stan’s bar mitzvah was coming up later that summer. Richie grew his dark hair longer, and his glasses just got thicker and thicker. They all cussed more, and teased each other more, but they were still close as ever.

Eddie still had no soulmark, even after all those years.

Richie’s was still faded and nearly gone, both boys filled with worry over the fate of Richie and his soulmate. 

Everyone worried about the kids that had come up missing that year.

And, so, the boys spent their first afternoon away from school wading around in the murky water of the sewers. Eddie’s skin was already crawling from Stan claiming to identify poison ivy everywhere, and now Richie and Bill stood nearly to their shins in grey water.

“Nuh-uh, that’s grey water.”

“What’s grey water?” Richie asked, stomping around in it, pulling things from the depths. 

“It’s basically… piss and shit. Your swimming in the entirety of Derry’s pee right now.”

Richie, ever so eloquently, picked a stick out of the sludge and sniffed it.

“Doesn’t smell like caca to me, senior,” he said, slipping into a dismal attempt at a Voice. Voices were Richie’s specialty, if specialty meant having bad attempts at accents and characters every second of everyday. 

But then they found Betty Ripson's shoe, and everything changed. Firstly, came the appearance of Ben Hascom, the “New Kid” that had moved to Derry towards the end of the school year. As they all examined the shoe, he came splashing into the quarry, pursued by Henry Bowers and his gang. He had a nasty cut carved into his gut, and so they all moved back to town to get him bandages. 

And, secondly, came Beverly Marsh. The girl from school with a reputation for doing it with guys who didn’t want to wait for their soulmates. The girl who helped them steal bandages from the drugstore with a flick of her fiery hair and the bat of an eyelash. The girl who stole the attention of both Bill and Ben, right in front of Eddie’s eyes.

And, in front of the eyes of everyone, the first of their friends to find their soulmates were Ben and Beverly.  
As the five boys all stood together, spitting into the quarry in nothing but their underwear, Bev rode up behind them with her newly shorn hair. And everyone was shocked as he shed her dress and ran, jumping into the water below. They all caught the flash of a red and blue mark, just above her hipbone as she descended from the air. 

It wasn’t until they had gotten out of the water, sitting on the rocks to dry themselves, that they noticed. Eddie could hear Ben whispering to the group, pointing to Beverly and then himself. He thought he was pointing at the wide expanse of skin that was Beverly’s stomach, but it was rather the colored patch on her side. Eddie looked and saw that Ben had an identical mark in the same place, all reds and blues.

“What’re you gonna do about it?” Richie asked, almost not a whisper. 

“I dunno. It doesn’t feel right just springing it on her.”

They all nodded, but Eddie could see melancholy glistening behind Bill’s eyes. The sight of watching someone who you thought you might have liked become someone else’s soulmate must sting worse than any insect.

Eddie thought about that as he walked home from the quarry, nervously rubbing his hands together. A deep sadness sunk into his gut, thinking about how he’d never be able to experience that feeling of joy. Doomed to stay alone in the world forever. 

He looked to his left as he walked, knowing that the Neibolt house would be there. It had always had a strange energy, encouraging anyone to come walk up, take a peek at what lay inside. Eddie stood still for a moment, staring at it’s mawing expanse. He could feel his breathing quickening, lungs constricting and throat turning. He reached into the pack at his hip, rummaging for his inhaler, but instead accidentally knocking all his medicines out of the bag. 

Shit shit shit, he thought, scrambling to grab every oblong pill from the gravel. He clicked the last compartment on his organizer closed, when he heard a rasping voice behind him. 

“Hey Eds, whatcha got there?”

Eddie turned around to see a man, mostly likely homeless, crawl out from under the porch of Neibolt house. As it grew closer, he could see bits of skin peeling from his face, his eyes glassy and teeth a nasty yellow. 

It’s a leper, Eddie realized. He’s gonna get me sick.

“I’ve got an offer you can’t refuse. I’ll blow you for a dime, not much to ask.”

Eddie shook his head, shaking his head as he backed away from him.   
“How about a dime? Or even for free? I’ll blow you for free.”

“N-no.” Eddie tried to move farther away, but the leper follows him, moving a little faster than before.

“Come on, you’ll be just like me. Who needs soulmates? We can be alone together, you and I. What'd ya say, Eds? Come be just like me.”

Eddie didn’t waste any time before he began running as far as his legs could take him. The labored breathing of the leper behind him spurred him on farther. He looked behind him only once, just in time to see the man turn into a white-faced clown, grinning with sharp teeth.

He didn’t stop running until he was in his room at home. His breathing was constricted, and he inhaled three puffs of his inhaler with no success. And his back. His back itched and burned worse than it had ever before. He peeled his shirt of, bending his elbows back to dig into his back, struggling to breath as sobs wracked his entire body.

He didn’t stop until the skin of his back was raw and blood dried under his fingernails.

-

Eddie came out of Neibolt house with a broken arm.

He picked at the plaster, running his nails across the stiff material. It was a Wednesday night, and Eddie was left lying on his bed, watching the ceiling fan turn over and over again. He hasn’t been allowed outside of the house since he fell through the floor of that wretched house. Well, unless he was going to the pharmacy to pick up medication.

Eddie traced the black sharpie lines scrawled across his cast, looping the O and swirling the S. 

LOSER, it boasted. Written by Greta earlier that day at his latest visit to the drug store. 

Eddie felt like a loser in that moment. He desperately missed his friends, but his mother forbade him from seeing them again. He missed Bill’s stutter, and Stan’s anxiousness, and Ben, and Mike, and Bev.

And Richie, he thought. 

God, he missed Richie. His best friend who he poked fun of everyday, but still made him laugh. Who could be comforting in moments it was needed, serious in times where it called for. Richie who held his face and told him to look at him as the clown slowly approached the group. Who snapped his arm back into place and helped drag him home. Who would say something clever to make Eddie feel better about his broken arm. 

He considered sneaking down to the kitchen and making a phone call. He knew his mother would be fast asleep in her chair, he knew the third stair from the floor squeaked. And so, avoiding any and all noise, he quietly slipped into the kitchen. He very slowly, methodically, rotated to dial in a muscle memory fashion. 

The line rang for a moment before there was a click and a voice. 

“Hello?”

“Richie, it’s Eddie.”

You could practically hear the smile in his voice. 

“Hey, what’s cracking Spaghetti Head?”

“I dunno. I haven’t been allowed out of the house much.”

“Your mother, as lovely as she may be, is a total hack.”

Eddie didn’t grace that statement with a response. He twirled the cord of the phone nervously around his index finger.

“I really miss you guys,” he all but whispered, voice a bit strained.

And then there was a click. Richie had hung up.

Eddie felt anger and hurt grow in his belly, wrapping its tendrils around his airways. He shook his head, slumping up the stairs and back into his room. Back to being alone again. He lied on his back, staring at the ceiling again.

And he stayed like that for a good fifteen minutes, not moving, forcing himself into not being angry. But that’s when he heard a loud thwack against his window. Eddie’s mind instantly thought back to It, laying low in his stupid layer in that stupid house. Carefully, he edged over to peek out at the ground below. And, frankly, he was very surprised at what he saw.

Richie, standing below his window, winding up to throw another dirt clod. Eddie quickly slid up the glass pane, motioning to stop the boy below.

“Stop! You’ll wake up my mom. What are you doing?”

“Being romantic? I dunno. You sounded like you needed some picking up. So here I am.”

Eddie grinned in spite of himself. Richie must have hung up in order to run several blocks over to visit him, in the middle of the night. 

“Go around to the back door. I’ll have to sneak you in. My mom’s asleep.”

He dashed away from the window, giddy with happiness. But, in his rush, Eddie forgot about the third step from the floor. It let out a high-pitched whine as his foot made contact, causing his mom to snort awake.

“Edward, you’re supposed to be in bed. What are you doing awake?”

“Uh, I’m just getting some water.”

“Did you take your night medicine.”

He resisted the urge to roll his eyes.

“Yes Mama.”

She nodded, then stood up. Anxiety slipped into Eddie’s veins, pumping through his entire body. His mother walked towards him, placing a meaty hand to his forehead. 

“You should really be in bed, you’re beginning to feel warm.”

“Yes Mama.”

“I’ll be in my bed if you get sick in the night.”

Eddie nodded, reluctantly planting a chaste kiss to the cheek she held out to him. He watched her slowly waddle away to her room, and listened for the click of her door before rushing to to retrieve Richie. He sat on the back porch, swirling a finger around in the dirt gathered there.

“Okay, we have to be super quiet. My mom’s in her room, but she’ll come out if she hears any noise.”

Richie nodded, carefully following Eddie’s steps up the stairs and into his room, gently shutting the door behind them. They sat on the edge of Eddie’s bed, the air almost awkward and silent.

“How is everyone else?” Eddie asked carefully, playing with the edge of his cast. 

“... Me and Bill got into a big argument after we dropped you off. He’s, uh, not speaking to me right now.”

“What? Why did you fight?”

Richie fiddled, not saying anything. Just touching the tips of his fingers to the tip of his thumb. 

“I got upset because we’ve spent this whole summer chasing after this thing. And in Neibolt, we almost died. You almost died…” He doesn’t look at Eddie, look away instead. “He wants to go back in to look for Georgie. Bev is the only one who agreed with him.”

Eddie nodded, shock trickling into his brain. 

“Did you go to Stan’s bar mitzvah?” he asked.

“Yeah, I was the only one, though. It was super weird. Lots of Hebrew.”

“That does tend to happen when you’re Jewish, Richie.”

He smiled a little at that, finally meeting Eddie’s eyes.

“I see you got your cast. How does it feel?”

“Itchy. Heavy. I can’t shower like a normal person.”

“That sucks balls, dude. Let me see it.”

Eddie moved his arm over, forgetting about the phrase scrawled there. But Richie saw it, and his eyes grew big.

“Who wrote this?”

“Greta from the pharmacy. She, uh, told me she wanted to sign it.”

Richie grit his teeth, his anger unobvious to most except Eddie. It sang behind his eyes, lashing flames behind deep brown irises. 

“Do you have a pen?”

“Yeah? On my desk over there.”

Richie scrambled up from the bed, shuffling through the things on Eddie’s desk until he found a red permanent marker.

“Trashmouth, I swear to God, if you draw a dick on my cast…”

“Shhh, I’m working,” he said, more serious than Eddie had ever seen him. The pink tip of his tongue stuck between his teeth a little as he worked on writing on the cast. Finally he stopped, sitting back with the tips of his ears a little pinker than before. Eddie looked down to see a bright red V hastily scribbled over the S in LOSER. Instead, it read something just a little bit better. 

LOVER

“That’s quite a lot better, ay Eddie Spaghetti.”

He wrinkled his nose at the nickname, but gratitude swamped his annoyance. 

“Thanks Richie. This… this means a lot.”

They grinned at each other, and for once, Eddie didn’t even notice the itch in his shoulders.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, thank you to my beautiful beta, sarahspoonhands. You are all my stars. 
> 
> Thank you for all of your overwhelming support! 
> 
> It might be a few more days before the next chapter because I will be out of town, but I will try and post ASAP!


	4. Thursday

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eddie was a gutted fish, a shattered window, a knife cut, a tornado, a raindrop. Open. Changed. Irreparably broken.
> 
> He did not cry.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alternate chapter title: Eddie gets fucking pissed.

Eddie hated chemistry. He hated it with every fibre of his being. Richie didn’t exactly make it easy on him either. He sat next to him in class, tapping his fingers against the edge of his desk, the repetitive noises drilling into his skull. He simply couldn’t focus. The teacher kept on droning and droning, and Eddie felt like his brain was going to explode. He ran his finger around the outline of his inhaler in his pocket, trying in vain yet again to focus on this class. Eventually, he leaned over to Richie, teeth gritted.

“If you don’t stop tapping your desk, I’m gonna shove my foot up your ass.”

“That a promise?” Eddie groaned in frustration, drawing the attention of the teacher. 

“Mr. Kasprak, may I help you with something?” he asked, tone condescending in every sense of the word. 

“No Sir,” Eddie murmured, looking down into his lap. Embarrassment burned hot under his cheeks, anger at Richie swelling in his chest.

“Now, starting with tomorrow, be will be talking about soulmates and how chemistry can be applied to them. How it plays a part in soulmarks and everything.” The bell rang just as he finished his statement, and dread couldn’t help but build up in Eddie’s gut. He hated it anytime anyone in his class would bring up the subject of soulmates. But that seemed to be the only thing people wanted to talk about, the only thing songs on the radio sang about, the only thing that showed up on movies and TV. 

It was just a reminder that, even at 17, Eddie still had no soulmark, and by extension, no soulmate.

Richie jogged up next to Eddie as he exited the classroom, grin in place and hands fiddling with the straps of his backpack. 

“What’s got you in such a tizz, Eds? That was pretty damn funny, if I do say so myself.”

Eddie mumbled a response, thoroughly agitated. Richie’s demeanor changed a little, his bravado halting and assessing the situation. He leaned a bit closer to Eddie so only he can hear.

“Is your back bothering you?”

Of course it was. It always was these days. The dull itch from his childhood had begun to morph into a low burn as he grew older, aching and raw at all hours of the night and day.

“I guess. I just feel like shit.” Richie nodded, deep in thought. 

“Let’s go to lunch, yeah? I know I could use a pick me up.” Eddie nodded, allowing himself to be led outside to Richie’s car.

Richie’s car was truly something to behold. Bright orange, paint peeling from being exposed to the sun for too long. The pair climbed into the rickety vehicle, Eddie trying to ignore the flaps of seat upholstery that had peeled up and now poked at his legs. He didn’t want to imagine the amount of people who’d owned this car before Riche, or even the type of people they had been. Richie started the car, engine coughing to life and radio blaring whichever cassette they’d been listening to this morning. 

Richie loved cassettes, and records, and just music in general. Eddie had boxes upon boxes of tapes his friends had made him over the years. Bev sent them from Portland, and she came up to visit them on holidays and for some time during the summer, always bringing tapes for the members of the loser’s club. Mike had only ever made one, Ben had made a few offhandedly, Bill a few more. But most were from Richie. Slipped into lockers, mailboxes, thrown through open windows, tossed into laps.

Thought you might like this.

And Eddie listened to them diligently, drowning out his mother’s cries and day-time TV with the loud drum crashes and guitar solos that Richie loved so much. It was all a little too harsh, but it stopped Eddie from thinking too hard while his headphones slipped over his ears.

Richie carefully maneuvered out of the parking lot, obviously being more safety conscious for Eddie’s sake. 

“So what’s got your goat? You seem like something’s bothering you.”

Eddie brings his knees to his chest, scuffed shoes resting on the dashboard. He balls his hands in the hem of his sweatshirt, running his thumb along the seam. 

“I just hate it when they bring up soulmates in class. It doesn’t even have to do with anything. You don’t need another person to make you happy.”

Richie gave a concerned sort of smile. 

“I know that, Eds. Trust me, if anyone even has a little understanding of what you mean, it’s me.”

Eddie nodded. Richie’s mark was still just barely a whisper of a thing. There had been a few nights that he’d crawled through Eddie’s window in tears, fearing for whoever his soulmate was. 

“I just wish there was something I could do. I’m the outlier. The .1% left on a hand sanitizer bottle. I’m tired of it.”

“I know Spaghetti Head, but think of it this way. At least you won’t be one of those ninnies who thinks their soulmate is the one and only person they need. You have friends who care about you, and that lovely mother of yours.” Eddie refrained from commenting on that last part. “What more could a guy want?”

“To not be ostracized in front of my peers.” Eddie murmured tersely. Richie gave another anxious sort of smile, patting Eddie on the kneecap. For once, he seemed to be at a loss of what to say. 

-

Eddie once again sat in class, trying his best not to drift off into a deep sleep. Sure enough, his teacher kept true to his word. The board was filled with the chemical application of soulmates, from how the marks showed up to how the attraction of soulmates was unlike normal attraction. Eddie’s notebook remained empty. He was either uninterested, or already knew what the teacher would say. 

He looked over at Richie, who for once took diligent record of the teacher’s lecture. He glanced back at Eddie, giving him the OK symbol with his fingers and raising an eyebrow. Eddie gave a sideways thumbs up. Richie grinned at him, attempting to elicit a smile.

It didn’t quite work.  
Eddie thought back to the day he told his mother he didn’t have a soulmark. He’d been about nine years old then, sitting at the dining room table across from her, silent.  
“Mama,” he said, oh so quietly. “Why don’t I have a soulmark yet? Everyone else in my class has theirs. They have for a long time.”

She paused, a thousand emotions running over her face. 

“Well, sweetheart, you might not have a soulmate.”

“Oh.” The bottom of Eddie’s stomach dropped out of his feet.

“It’ll be alright. You don’t need a soulmate. You have me. A mother is better than any soulmate you could ever find. Eat your brussels sprouts.”

“Yes Mama.”

That night, he’d slunk up to his room, trying hard to ignore the irritated skin between his shoulders. He didn’t cry, too wracked with sorrow to let even an iota escape him. In that moment, he wished desperately that Richie was his soulmate. He was rowdy and sometimes annoying, but he was always at Eddie’s side when he needed help. He stopped people bullying him. He would be soft and understanding when the situation called for just that. They were best friends. 

Eddie looked at Richie now. He still sometimes wished for just that.

“Mr. Kaspbrak.” Eddie jolted in his seat, facing the front again. The teacher stood, arms crossed, eyebrows furrowed.

“Since you seem to know everything about this unit, would you mind telling us what exactly animoprophen is and what it does?”

Eddie burned hot, anger bubbling under his skin. But, the word was familiar. It was a drug, one sitting in his medicine cabinet at home. One he took every single day since he was seven. 

“Animoprophen is a drug, sir. It helps ease back pain.”

“Only half right, Mr. Kaspbrak. It is a drug, but it isn’t for back pain. Not even close.”

Eddie’s fists balled themselves up, his frustration finally spilling over the edge.

“Excuse me, Mr. Green, I don’t think that’s right. I’ve taken that drug everyday since I was seven. I was prescribed it for back pain.”

“Will someone please tell Mr. Kaspbrak what exactly animoprophen is for?”

A girl in the back raised her hand.

“Animoprophen is a drug given to people with dead soulmates. It makes the mark go away so they are at less risk of depression.”

“Thank you, Cynthia. You must be confusing it with another drug, Edward.”

Eddie knew he wasn’t. People around the classroom did not make their chuckles and whispers a secret, talking behind hands and glancing his way. He could feel his airways closing, breathing growing rapid, fingers becoming numb with static.

The bell finally rang, releasing him from this absolute nightmare. He sprang from his seat, racing into the hallway. He needed to go home, he was going to be sick, he was going to die. 

He took mighty puffs from his inhaler, one after another.

One.

Two.

Three.

He didn’t stop. Not even when he heard Richie calling to him from the hallway.

-

Eddie lay in bed that night, examining the pill bottle he’d palmed from the cabinet an hour ago. The light from his lamp shine through the yellowish plastic, turning the pink pills within a sort of orange color. His mom’s name was printed on the bottle. How had he never noticed before? All his other medicine had his name printed on the label. But not this one. Not this fucking one. 

He’d run to the pharmacy immediately after chemistry, not waiting up for Richie to give him a ride. Panting, he slammed his palm flat against the counter, drawing the attention of the pharmacist. 

“I need you to tell me something,” he said through gritted teeth.

“What’s wrong Eddie. Out of your inhaler?”

“No. I have a question about animoprophen.”

The color quickly drained out of the older man’s face.

“Yes, of course. What is it?”

“My mother told me that it was for back pain. Back pain I’ve had since I was seven. But I was just told in my class just now that it’s to get rid of soulmarks? Explain.”

The pharmacist swallowed, obviously nervous.

“Yes, they are for soulmarks. They’re prescribed to your mother.”

“What about the other medication? is it even real? Am I taking things I don’t need?”

A pregnant pause swelled before them. 

“They’re all placebos. Sugar pills. They don’t affect you at all. Except the animoprophen.” The pharmacist then looked above Eddie’s head at someone entering the store. Eddie turned to see Richie standing there, breathing a little heavily. 

“Thanks. For everything,” Eddie said, turning back to the man before him. His words were sharper than an obsidian scalpel. He waited a beat before pushing a small display of brochures to the floor and turning to meet Richie. 

“Let’s go.”

Eddie hadn’t confronted his mother yet. Every time he thought he might be able to, he couldn’t. It was his mother. How could she?

A loud thud sounded against his window, followed by muffled cursing. Eddie looked out to see none other than Richie. He also noticed a small crack in his window from the rock Richie has thrown. He lifted the pane, looking at his best friend. 

“You’re going to break my window one of these days, Trashmouth.”

“Only if you break my heart first,” he crooned in a sing-song voice. Eddie smirked before racing downstairs to let Richie in, not caring that his mother lay sleeping in her chair.

Once they are safe in Eddie’s room, Richie released a barrage of questions. 

“Okay, what happened at the pharmacy? You ran out of class, and so I followed you, and I find you going all bad cop in the drug store. And the amino-whatever? What’s that all about?”

Eddie let the confusion wash over him, again picking up the plastic bottle and running his thumb over the label.   
“Animoprophen. It’s a drug used to get rid of soulmarks after your soulmate dies.” He holds up the bottle. “This is prescribed to my mom. She’s been giving it to me since I was seven.” He pulls his inhaler out of his pocket, throwing it across his room in anger. “All my medication is bullshit, Richie. It was never real. She’s been lying to me for nearly ten years. Ten years! That’s more than half of my life!”

Richie didn’t say anything, just rubbed small circles between his shoulders. Eddie leaned into the touch, grateful for the comforting touch.

“What are you gonna do, Eddie?”

“I dunno. Being in the same house as her makes me feel sick. Thinking about everything makes me sick.” He pauses. “I think she’s the fault I never got my mark. I think that medicine stopped it from coming in. It’s her fault. I have a soul mate out there who I might never find, because of her.” 

Eddie was a gutted fish, a shattered window, a knife cut, a tornado, a raindrop. Open. Changed. Irreparably broken.

He did not cry.

Richie reached over and wrapped him in a rare embrace, resting his chin on Eddie’s shoulder.

“I’m so sorry. I feel like I should do something, but I can’t. I haven’t felt this powerless since we fought It.”

He pulled away, placing Eddie’s hands in his. He traced the scar on his palm, running his thumb over the raised skin.

“Do you want to stay at my house tonight? My parents won’t be there,” Richie asked quietly, and Eddie though he could sense just a little shyness in his tone.

“I dunno. My ma…”

“She shouldn’t control you anymore. Not after what she did. If you want to go, let's go.”

Eddie nodded.

As they walked down the stairs, Eddie felt his life moving in slow motion. He didn’t avoid the third step. His mother stirred, demanding to know what Richie was doing there, where they were going. She tried to stop them, opening her mouth to yell.

“Mom, I know that you did,” he says plainly, placing the animoprophen in her hand. “I’m going to stay at Richie’s house tonight.”

And just like that, calm as the eye of a hurricane, he walked out the door towards Richie’s car.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to my beta, sarahspoonhands. 
> 
> Thank you all for the comments and kutos, they mean the world. 
> 
> I love this chapter and I hope you all do too.


	5. Friday

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Where will you go?”
> 
> Eddie looked toward the house, spotting Richie trying to inconspicuously watch the argument. 
> 
> “I’ll go wherever I feel safe.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whelp.

The next morning, Richie’s mark started to grow darker. The V started to bloom in deep red, burnt oranges, and just the slightest hints of sunshiney yellows. 

Eddie saw it first, blinking awake as the sun began to shine through the window. Richie and him had lied awake all night, not speaking much, not touching. They still weren’t touching now, a good five inches between the pair. 

And then he saw it. Fire in the summer and lava in the most beautiful form. A deep V nestled between his shoulders. Eddie’s eyes snapped fully open then, shaking Richie’s bare shoulder. 

“Richie! Richie, your mark!”

“Hmm?”

“Your soulmark! It’s got colors again!”

Richie bolted up, rubbing his eyes. 

“You’ve got to be kidding me. You’re punking me, I can already tell.”

“No, I’m not! Go look.”

And so they stood in Richie’s bathroom, holding up a mirror so he could gaze upon the newly changed mark. His mouth lay slightly agape, disbelief and wonder scrawled over his features. 

“It’s the greatest thing I’ve ever seen. Wow. Eddie, are you seeing this?”

“Yeah Rich, I see it.” He smiled, happy for his friend. But a lingering sense of dread curled devilishly in the pit of his stomach. If Richie’s mark was growing darker, it meant he would eventually be able to find his soulmate. Whoever they were. Suddenly, Richie turned to him, placing his hands on his shoulders.

“Eds, I feel really good about this. I feel like things are gonna start working out for you too.”

Eddie scoffed a bit.  
“You know I hate it when you call me that.”

Richie smiled, and Eddie felt warm.

-

The pair went straight back to Richie’s house after school, excited for whatever shenanigans the weekend would hold. Eddie’s back was growing more and more sore as he refused to keep taking the medicine he gave back to his mother. But he welcomed it. At least it was honest. Something he for certain was actually feeling and knew was real. 

“So, you feeling like a movie tonight or just laying around?” Richie asked over the blaring of his music, staring straight ahead at the road. He was obviously refraining from making his usual amount of jokes, particularly about Eddie’s mother. He both was thankful and angry, but couldn’t decide which. 

“I dunno, movie sounds good. Not really picky.”

But the conversation stuttered to an abrupt halt as they pulled up to Richie’s house as they took in what they saw. Sonia Kaspbrak sat behind the wheel of their old station wagon, waiting for them outside of the house. She seemed to have just barely been able to smash herself behind the wheel, part of the reason why the vehicle had not seen much use over the years. 

“If we run, she won’t be able to catch us. Right?” Richie asked, tone anxious as well as protective. Eddie shook his head. He’d have to confront her eventually, why not then?

“Go inside, I’ll be in in a minute,” he said, barely above a whisper as he opened the car door. His mother did the same, mirroring his movements. Her face was stern, patchy red in some places. Whether it was from crying or anger, he’d never know. Richie cast him a worried look, before heading into the house. 

“Edward, I’ve come to take you home. Grab your things.”

Eddie swallowed, hardening himself for the phrase he was about to utter. A phrase that he’d never said in his life. 

“No Mama.”

“Excuse me? I said get in the car, Eddie. That boy is telling you lies.”

Eddie took a step back from his mother. 

“No he’s not. You are. You always have. That ‘medicine’ you’ve been giving me? It’s bullshit! All of it!”

“You don’t under-“

“No, I understand perfectly. You’re so controlling! You wanted to keep me here with you even when you knew I had to go. You-“ He swallowed, determined not to let her see him break down. “You took away my chance to find a soulmate. Do you know how much that’s affected me? To be the only kid in class who couldn’t relate to anyone else. The one destined to be alone with his mother his whole life?”

She was silent for a long moment, trying to find the right words. 

“Your father left me. I lost him and I couldn’t lose you too. You have to understand.”

“I do understand. You went about it wrong, though. Instead of forming a healthy relationship with me when I was younger, you smothered me. Forced me to your side. Now that I know what you did, even that’s gone. That’s not what a mother should do. That’s the opposite, actually.”

A pause. 

“Please come home.”

Eddie exhaled through his nose, pressing his lips together.

“No. I need to be away from home for a while. I’ll come by at some point for more clothes, but I can’t be in a house with you right now.”

“Where will you go?”

Eddie looked toward the house, spotting Richie trying to inconspicuously watch the argument. 

“I’ll go wherever I feel safe.”

His mother scoffed a bit, then folded herself back into the car. She gave Eddie one last brief look, one of contempt, before speeding back down the road. He watched her go, letting out a breath he didn’t know he’d been holding. He leaned against the side of Richie’s car, lifting his head up to the sky and closing his eyes. A few gentle tears licked down his cheeks, but he didn’t stop them.

And for once, everything felt quiet. 

But it didn’t last long before Eddie felt the crash of another body against him. He opened his eyes to see Richie, arms wrapped around him and chin resting on his shoulder. Eddie hugged him with just as much vigor, letting out a small laugh in spite of himself. 

“Are you okay? I saw everything that happened,” Richie said, a little muffled. Eddie rubbed circles on his back, right above his soulmark.

“Honestly, I’m really not okay. But I told her to pound sand.” He released Richie so he could look him in the eye. “I really hate to ask, but could I keep staying with you for a few days? I sort of told her I wouldn’t be back for a while.”

Richie placed his hands on the juncture between Eddie’s neck and shoulders, something intangible behind his eyes.

“Of course. You can always stay with me if you ever need to. Got it, Eddie Spaghetti?”

Eddie chuckled, looking down at his shoes. 

“Yeah, thanks Rich.”

And, not for the first time, he desperately wished that he was Richie’s soulmate.

-

The next night, Eddie woke up screaming. 

His back cried out, a pain worse than even the first night when he was seven. It was as though something had become trapped under the skin and was trying to force it’s way out. Sobs wracked his body, shaking his whole person, tearing tears out of his eyes.

Richie scrambled awake next to him, shaking him.

“Eddie! Eddie what’s wrong?”

“M-my back. It’s-” A guttural noise escaped him, preventing him from finishing his sentence. 

Richie hastily eased him out of his shirt, closely examining the skin. A noise of shock and worry escaped him.

“Okay, you’re starting to bleed pretty badly. I’m gonna help you to the bathroom real quick, okay?”

Eddie nodded, allowing his arm to go around Richie’s neck. He helped lift him off the bed, letting Eddie lean into his side as they shambled down the hall. The fluorescent light of the room hurt Eddie’s eyes, and he felt warmth dribbling from the source of the pain. Definitely the blood Richie was talking about.

“Okay, Eds. You really have to stay awake here.”

He didn’t want to stay awake. The pain hurt too much. He wanted to close his eyes.

Richie patted his face.

“I’m gonna clean you up. We need to see what exactly this is.” Eddie nodded, allowing himself to be turned around on the toilet seat. He hissed when he felt a wet rag touch his back, wiping away the red to see underneath. The pain slowly began to subside.The pair was quiet for a long time.

Then Richie mumbles something, voice uncharacteristically shaky.

“What’s that?”

“I said-” He swallows. “I said I think it’s your soulmark.”

Eddie went light headed.

“What do you mean, you think it’s my soulmark?”

“I mean I think it’s coming in finally. The animoprophen isn’t stopping it anymore.”

Eddie touched the tips of his fingers to his lips, heart and mind racing in tandem. He was getting his mark? After all of this time? He wouldn’t be alone for the rest of his life?

“I guess you’ll have someone to be jealous of now, huh? Or are you still stuck on my mother?” Eddie jested, feeling giddy. But Richie was deathly quiet.

“Richie, you okay?”

“Y-yeah. Um, I might not have to be jealous actually?”

Eddie turned around, confused.

“What do you mean? That doesn’t make any sense.”

Richie wiped his hand over his face, holding his dark curls out of his eyes. 

“Just look.”

And so Eddie stood, craning his neck over his shoulder to glance at the wound. And what he saw shocked him to the core. Blood swirled into orange and yellow, slowly morphing itself into a permanent tattoo. It was familiar, painfully familiar. From the colors to the deep arching V they too shape in. 

It was Richie’s soulmark.

It was his soulmark.

His.

Theirs.

We. 

Us.

Richie stood behind him, just barely visible in the reflection in the mirror. He gnawed on the skin of his thumb, not making eye contact. Making himself small. He was so unlike the Richie that Eddie saw everyday, and he was scared.

He was so happy, but also distraught. He was almost certain that he was not the type of soulmate that Richie had been dreaming of all these years. He wanted desperately to be the person Richie wanted. So badly. 

And then they made eye contact, brown against brown. Personal and scathing and too much.

Eddie lost it. 

“I’m so sorry,” he cries, grabbing his shirt and racing out of the room. He ignored Richie’s shouts to wait, instead running out and down the front law. And once again, he felt his life moving in slow motion.

He felt the rustle of his shirt as he pulled it back over his head. Where the shirt stuck to his freshly bled soulmark, definitely seeping through the thin fabric. He felt where rain was beginning to fall on his arms as he ran. He didn’t hear anything.

He didn’t hear Richie calling after him to stop running.

He didn’t stop until he felt another body colliding with his.  
He landed hard on his back, knocking all the air out of his lungs and irritating the raw skin there. Richie had landed on top of him, black hair falling into his face, chest heaving. Eddie pushed him off and made to run again, but Richie held onto his wrist. 

“Eds-”

“Don’t fucking call me that.”

“Than stop running. Please?” Then, even quieter. “Eddie, please.”

He stopped, looking at his friend. Rain was beginning to fall harder now, but he ignored it. Eddie yanked his wrist away, eyes hard.

“You can’t run like that, Eddie. Now, I know I’m not the soulmate you expected, but we’re in this for life now. You have to live with it.”

“Live with it? I never expected to even have a fucking soul mate, Richie. What about you? Weren’t you expecting to get a girl your whole life?”

Richie clenched his fists.

“You don’t know anything about me.”

“Bullshit! I know everything about you! We’re soul mates, remember?”

“I don’t understand what you’re saying here.”

Eddie pushed his hands into his hair, flinging the rain out of it. It was coming down harder and harder, and they were coming close to getting soaked. 

“I know you aren’t going to want what I want, okay? I know you’re going to wish I was some girl instead, and I can’t handle that. Not after my mom. I can’t-” He sharply inhales, swallowing the tears rising up his throat. “I can’t. Not from you.”

Richie just stared, his face nearly unreadable.

“What do you want, Eddie?”

Eddie exploded.

“You! You, you asshole! It’s always been you. From when we just seven years old and that kid threw sand at me. I envied you so badly. I envied whoever was going to share a mark with you, because I wanted it to be me. So badly. You were my best friend, you protected me. I could read you better than anyone. You made everything hurt more and less all at once. But I was just the kid with a crazy mom who was going to be alone forever. I was nothing.” He paused, looking back at his friend, who stood with a look of shock on his face. 

“Are you going to say anything, Richie? Cause-”

He never got to finish his sentence, because that was the moment Richie strode over and smashed their lips together. 

Rain pelted them from above, soaking into their shirts. Hot tears had begun to fall down Eddie’s cheeks, and they blended with the rain as the pair grasped at each other. Richie’s lips were incredibly chapped, but very warm and insistent. It was possibly the best thing Eddie had ever experienced in his life, and it was over in an instant.

Richie gently placed his hands on Eddie’s cheeks, wiping away stray drops of water with his thumbs. 

“Eddie, I wouldn’t want anything better. Anyone better. Like you said, it’s always been you. I think I’ve always known.”

Eddie laughs, sliding his hands over Richie’s and placing their foreheads together. 

“Let’s get out of this rain. We have a lot to talk about.”


	6. Saturday

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An endless conversation, forever. Just the two of them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, we’ve reached the penultimate chapter. Thank you for sticking it out, just hold on for one more! Thank you for all the comments, they mean so much!

Eddie did eventually have to go back home. 

Richie’s parents were coming back into town, and they wouldn’t have been happy to see another boy had taken up residence there. He couldn’t hide from his mother forever.

He’d walked into the house with his head held high, breathing even and heart full of love. He and his mother did not speak, awkwardly maneuvering around each other and avoiding eye contact. Eddie made his own dinners and ate them alone in his room, listening to Richie’s tapes as loud as he could stand. He did not speak a word in his own home.

That’s where he lay, three weeks later. On his bed, listening to music, thinking of deep brown eyes and wild black hair. 

Not many things changed between him and Richie. They still went to lunch during school, they still hung out with the losers club in their free time. Richie still snuck up to Eddie’s room whenever he pleased. But it was also different.  
The soft kisses they placed on each other were different. The embraces were longer. They snuggled closer to each other, laying tandem on one of their beds. Making up for lost time, nursing wounds old and new, discussing the future and the past. 

An endless conversation, forever. Just the two of them.

Eddie traced the edges of his Walkman with the tip of his finger, feeling the little vibrations as the tape within spun and spun. Richie and him had gone down to the quarry for the first time in a while, rolling up the legs of their pants and wading in the shallow parts. They laughed and kicked water at each other like they were kids again, relishing the new warm air as spring began to bleed into summer.

They would be graduating soon, and then there would be no more time for quarries and sewers and riding bikes through the streets of Derry. Eddie had a stack of letters from colleges hidden under his bed, where they’d been for nearly a week. Richie and him had applied to a lot of the same colleges, and he couldn’t bring himself to open the letter’s without his other half there. Anxiety filled his body like an acid at the thought of him and Richie becoming separated. 

And then, like the thought of him was a summons, Richie knocked on Eddie’s door before letting himself in. 

“Hey Spaghetti Head, what’s cracking?”

“Nothing. Just laying here I guess.”

Richie sat on the bed, rifling through the inside pocket of his jacket. He finally produced a letter from within. 

“I got my letter from Portland. I thought I’d come over before I opened it.” He was obviously nervous, running his fingers over the corners of the envelope. Eddie nodded, leaning over and pulling out his stack of letters from under his bed. 

“You open yours first, Eds.”

He’d applied to several schools, all out of state. But the one he’d been holding out for was Portland. That’s where Ben was going in order to be with Bev. That’s where he could be far away from his mother. That’s the school that him and Richie had decided they’d like to go to months ago. He sifted the deciding letter from his stack, carefully running his finger over the address. 

He looked at Richie, then slid his thumb under the flap and tore through it. His hands shook slightly as he read the first few lines. 

Dear Mr. Kaspbrak,

It is with great pleasure that we inform you that you have been accepted…

“I got in,” he whispered in disbelief. 

“What?”

“Richie, I got in!”

“That’s amazing!”

“Open yours, open yours!”

Richie shakily tore open his letter as well, eyes hungrily scanning the lines of text. He broke into a giant grin, forcing the stiff paper into Eddie’s waiting hands.

“I guess you’ll just have to be stuck with me then, Eds. Cause I just got accepted too.” 

Eddie smiles, wrapping his arms tightly around his soul mate. They looked at each other and smiled, grabbing each other's faces and pressing their lips together. 

Eddie loved kissing Richie. Every time was different. The ones where one of them woke with nightmares of broken arms and rows of teeth and falling skin were slow, comforting. Unlike the quick pecks they exchanged when parting for class. Unlike now, all smiles and laughs and clacking teeth and love, love, love. And they did love. It blossomed out of them, pouring over their lives and overtaking their hearts. Making up for lost time and years lost to uncertainty.

They loved like it would be taken from them again. 

-

The Loser’s club all sat in Bill’s garage a few days later, draped over discarded couches and sitting on old rugs they’d collected over the years. Ben’s portable stereo churned out music from the selection of tapes they’d all brought. 

Summer was near, and the whole town was drowsy with it.

“Eddie and I both got into Portland,” Richie stated offhandedly once the conversation became too quiet. His head lay on Eddie’s open lap, a silent plea for Eddie to run his fingers through his untamable hair. He obliged. 

“That’s g-g-great, you g-guys,” Bill stated, laying on his back in the middle of the rug.

“Yeah, that’s really exciting. We’ll be at the same school again,” Ben added.

“Speaking of Portland, when is Bev supposed to be coming back?” asked Eddie, pulling his fingers carefully through a snag in Richie’s mane.

“Last I heard, she’s coming as soon as her school gets out. Then we’ll head back together for college.”

“We’ll have to see about leaving around the same time, then.”

“Yeah, definitely.”

Eddie leaned his head back, closing his eyes.

The group before him had changed much since they defeated It. Ben had lost much of the baby weight he’d once carried, gaining an interest in architecture. Bill still stuttered relentlessly, but was much better at writing than he was at speaking. Mike had surprisingly expressed wanting to stay home in Derry, potentially taking over his grandfather’s farm with his soulmate. Stan, on the other hand, couldn’t wait to get as far from their small town as he possibly could. Not unlike Richie and Eddie, having replied back to the college with the affirmative. 

And Bev. Beverly Marsh, who still stayed in the corner of their minds and hearts in her oft absences. Sending love with her letters and phone calls. 

Eddie remembered back a few weeks, the day directly after his soulmark finally burst out. They all gathered in a similar fashion, listening intently to know exactly what news they heralded.

“So, I got my soulmate last night?”

The silence was deafening. They all looked at him, the knowledge of the impossibility written clearly over their faces. 

“H-h-how?” Bill stuttered.

“So, i found out that all of my medication my mom has been giving me has been bullshit. Except one.” Richie placed a hand atop his soulmark, rubbing circles into the still tender skin. “She’s been giving me animoprohen to make sure my mark didn’t show up all this time. She told me it was for back pain.”

“Oh, God, that’s the worst,” Mike whispered, covering his mouth with the tips of his fingers.

“I haven’t taken them since I found out, so my mark came through last night.”

“So who’s your soulmate, then? You said you found them already?”

Eddie and Richie looked at each other, Richie silent for once and eyes relaying support.

“Well, it seems like he’s going to be stuck with me for a lot longer than he thought,” Richie finally said, looping his pinky through Eddie’s.

The group’s reactions were mixed.

Ben nearly fell backwards in shock. Mike laughed, loud and boisterous. Stan rolled his eyes, stating that he knew all along. Bill just smiled, genuine. 

“Well, are you going to show us the mark yet or not?” asked Stan, who’s small smile broke through his annoyed exterior. 

And so, that’s how they ended up lifting off their shirts and displaying the twin V marks on their back. 

And Eddie felt joy in the highest regard. What did blood family like his mother mean, compared to the found family he’d made with his friends?

Eddie leaned his head against the back of the couch, fingers still knotted in Richie’s hair, and smiled to himself.

-

Eddie took a deep breath, refusing to reach for his useless inhaler. 

His mother sat alone at the table, quietly eating her dinner. They hadn’t spoken in nearly a month. He stared down at his own dinner, trying to psyche himself up. He finally just grabbed his plate and quietly slid into the seat across from his mother. She quirked an eyebrow, but did not speak. 

They were silent. Eddie’s skin itched. 

“I got my soulmark,” he muttered quietly. He picked at his food. 

“When?” 

Just one word to break the silence. To shatter the war of quiet stretching between them. 

“About a month ago. It, uh, bled a lot.”

She nodded solemnly. 

“Have you met your soulmate yet then?”

Eddie scratched his nose. 

“I did about ten years ago, actually.”

“What do you mean?”

“It’s Richie. He’s my soulmate.”

The silence returned momentarily. 

“Should have known. That boy can’t leave you alone.”

Eddie ignored her comment. 

“We got into the same school. In Portland.”

“Portland isn’t very far.”

“Portland, Oregon, Mom. It’s on the other side of the country.”

Her hands clenched, turning the knuckles white. 

“What do you want Edward?”

“I want you to act like a normal mother, just a little bit. I’m graduating in a matter of weeks here.” he pauses, thinking of what he rehearsed earlier. “I want you to be there when I graduate. I want to at least pretend like everything's normal until I leave. Because this isn’t normal. We don’t even speak to each other anymore.”

She blinked in obvious sock, but still remained silent. He kept going. 

“I still don’t forgive you. I doubt I ever will. But I’d like to have some semblance of a relationship with my mother.” He waited a beat, then grabbed his plate and made a beeline for his room. He got about half-way up the stairs before he heard his mother.

“I’m proud of you, yknow. I’m glad you’re going to school.”

He waits, making sure he didn’t just make it up. He cracks a tiny grin.

“Thanks Mom.”


	7. Sunday

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “You can’t be the happiest man in the universe, because I already am.”

Eddie shook the water out of his hair, closing his umbrella as he walked into his building. He loved Portland, but the rain was a bit out of control. He dug around in his coat pocket in search of his keys, fingers accidentally brushing against the small box in his pocket. His breath hitched. 

As the elevator rose slowly to his floor, he nervously turned the ring on his finger. 

The day Richie proposed was probably the best day of Eddie’s life so far. He was in the process of earning his master’s degree in psychology, and he’d come home feeling completely drained from classes and work. He’d walked into his and Richie’s shared apartment and flopped dramatically on the couch, burrowing his face into the cushions.

“I’m gonna guess your day wasn’t stressful at all, Spaghetti Head.”

Eddie mumbled back a sharp comment, but it was lost in the cushions. He felt the couch dip as Richie took a seat next to his prone form, placing a gentle hand on his back. 

“Seriously though, rough day?” he asked, voice completely genuine. Eddie turned his head so his mouth was no longer covered. 

“I guess so, mostly just long. Why do I want to be a therapist again? I can just barely get my own life together.” He could tell Richie was smiling, and he chuckled a bit to himself. “But I’m home now, so that’s significantly better.” 

But Richie was silent. The kind of silent that meant he was thinking really hard. The kind that worried Eddie to no end. He turned over on the couch, sliding up a bit so his back rested against the arm. 

“What’re you thinking about? I can practically hear gears turning.”

Richie lifted his eyes to meet Eddie’s, something like nervousness shimmering in them. The light shone through his irises, turning the dark brown nearly a blondish amber. It was one of the most beautiful things Eddie had ever seen in his nearly 23 years of life.

“I, uh, had a better plan for this, but fuck it. I’m just gonna do it.” He took a deep breath, then slowly slid off the couch so he was kneeling on just one knee. He pulled something from his pocket, turning it over in his hands as he spoke.

“Eds, we’ve known each other since we were seven. I knew from the moment I laid my eyes on you that you were something special. And you’ve proven me right everyday since. And while it was terrible that your soulmark didn’t show for so long, I think I knew anyway. I knew that you had me, and I could only hope I had you in turn.” He finally lifted the object in his hands, holding it between his pointer finger and thumb. It was a ring. A silver circle that glinted hopefully in the light. “I know that this means nearly nothing compared to all of the other milestones we’ve had. And we’re soulmates, so we’re pretty much common-law married anyway. You’ve already made me the happiest man on the entire planet. No, the entire universe.” He swallowed, gently sliding the ring onto Eddie’s finger. 

“What’d ya say, Eds?”

Eddie stared down at his hand, a smile sneaking its way onto his face. He leaned his face close to Richie’s, smug smirk firmly in place.

“You’re wrong.”

“What the fuck do you mean?” Richie’s face bloomed in shock and slight offense. Eddie slid his hand around the back of his neck, pressing their noses together. 

“You can’t be the happiest man in the universe, because I already am.” 

Eddie remembered that day, nearly two months before, with great fondness. He thought of it clearly as the numbers on the elevator blinked to his floor. 

Today was Richie’s birthday. Eddie wanted so badly to make today special. He’d made plans to have Ben and Bev over for dinner, and of course the box in his pocket. It contained, of course, a ring. Very similar to Eddie’s own, with LOVER engraved on the inside band. 

He walked into the apartment. Richie sat on the couch sifting through their mail, sock feet resting on the coffee table. 

“Got anything good there?” Eddie asked, hanging up his coat and setting his keys on the table by the door. He carefully extracted the ring box from his pocket, making sure to hide it from Richie’s view. 

“Mostly junk. A card from Stan. Power bill.”

“What does Stan say?”

“Just a happy birthday from him and his wife. They’re too damn perfect for each other, I swear.”

“I think that’s sort of the point.” He slides next to his fiancé, resting his cheek against his shoulder. “Happy birthday, love. How was your day?”

“Better now that you’re here,” Richie replied, snuggling closer and setting the mail down. He kissed Eddie sweetly on the lips, short but meaningful. 

“Do you want me to give you your present before Ben and Bev get here?”

“Striptease?” Richie asked, quirking an eyebrow.

“No asshole. You wish.” He turns and pulls the ring out of its box, and opens Richie’s hand, placing it on his palm. 

“I had been seriously considering proposing to you, but you beat me to it. And I had wanted to get you this ring. And now that we are engaged, I felt it sort of odd that only I had a ring. So I bought you the ring as a birthday present.” He sucked in a nervous breath as he watched Richie run his finger across the engraving. He slipped it on his finger and grabbed Eddie’s face, planting several kisses on his cheeks and forehead. 

“I love it. Does this mean that I’m the best lover ever then?”

Eddie scoffed, pecking him on the lips. 

“You’re my lover, and that’s all I care about.”

-

Ben and Bev come over around 6:30, all joy and well wishes. They help with the last dregs of dinner preparation, setting the table and finally sitting down. 

“So how’s work going, Rich?” Bev asked, digging into her pasta. 

“Pretty good. They mentioned letting me do some more stuff around the station. Being in charge of song choice some nights.”

“That’s great. I’m sure you’ll be fantastic at it.” Ben said. He glances over at Bev, but she doesn’t notice. A ring glimmers on her left ring finger. 

Her and Ben were to be married later this summer, and they’d been engaged longer than Richie and Eddie. Nearly a year and a half. 

“How’s the wedding planning coming?” Asked Eddie. 

“Well, we think we finally found a location. It’s kinda far.” Said Bev, drawing circles on the table top with the top of her finger. 

“Oh? Location wedding, very original. What location might I ask?” Richie jested. 

Ben and Bev looked at each other, sharing an odd look. Ben finally sighed and took her hand in his. 

“We were wanting to have the wedding back in Derry.” 

The table went silent. Neither of the four had been back to Derry since they left after high school. Eddie hadn’t spoken to his mother, and Richie and his parents had never been close. Neither of them particularly wished to go back to the small town. 

“Why Derry?” Eddie asked. 

“Well, it was the place where it all happened. It’s where we met. Where we all met. Why not come full circle.” Bev continued to draw circles on the table, eyes downcast with nervousness. 

Richie slapped his palm against the table, causing everyone to jump. 

“Bevvy, I think that is a great idea. Get the gang all together in the place where it all started right?” She and Ben both nodded. “Then I’m completely on board. What about you Eds?”

All eyes turned to Eddie, who sat shock still. The prospect of going back to Derry made Eddie’s skin crawl. Back to It’s lair, back to broken arms and missing soulmarks and misery. And his mother. What about his mother? He hasn’t spoken to her since the day he left for Portland. But then he looked up and saw his friends, hands clasped and eyes wide. Pleading. His resolve crumbled. 

“I think it’s a great idea guys. We’ll be there.” 

He hooked his pinky through Richie’s under the table, squeezing. Hoping to convey his anxiety. 

-

Richie was already in bed once Eddie got out of the shower. He had his glasses resting on his nose, book in his hands. Eddie couldn’t help but smile at his soulmate, in a position of rare quiet. He rubbed his thumb against the smooth band on his finger as he leaned against the doorframe. 

“Richie Tozier, is that a book I see?”

“Scared I’ll become smarter than you, Eddie Spaghetti?” he snarked, not looking up from the pages. Eddie just grinned wider before flopping down on the bed and snuggling up to Richie’s side. 

“What’re you reading?”

“Couldn’t tell you. I just keep thinking about you.” He set his book back down on the bedside table and flicked out the light. He wraps his long arms around Eddie and pulls him closer. “You seemed upset at dinner. What’s up love?”

Eddie shrugged. 

“I dunno. Just going back to Derry. The whole concept scares me. Everything with It. And remembering not having you. It’s just bad memories. And my mom.” A moment of silent understanding passed between them. 

“She doesn’t have to know you’re there. You don’t have to speak to her.”

“I dunno Rich, I sort of want to? I mean, I’m engaged now. I feel like that’s something she should know.” 

“You give her too much credit.”

“I know I do. But she’s still my mom. What she did was fucked up, but she did it because she was misguided. I learned about something in class the other day that I think applies to her.”

“What’s that?”

“Münchausen syndrome by proxy. It’s a mental disorder where you convince someone, typically a child, that they’re sick in order to maintain control over them.”

“Sounds fucked up.”

“It is. I can see why she had it though. I mean, her soulmate died.”

Richie hums in agreement, rubbing a hand over Eddie’s soulmark under his shirt. Eddie pressed his nose up against the underside of Richie’s chin, placing gentle kisses there. 

“So, you gonna talk to her?” Richie mumbled. 

“Yeah, I think so.”

“Alright, then I’ll take you.”

“Thank you for understanding.”

-

Eddie stood in front of his old house, fiddling with his hands and turning his ring over and over. Richie had dropped him off about 5 minutes ago, and he hadn’t taken a step since. 

Ben and Bev’s wedding was in a two days, and all of the original losers were in town. Mike had stayed in Derry with his soulmate. Stan and his wife came up from Texas. Bill came up from New York. They’d all eaten dinner together last night, reminiscing and sharing stories from the last time they all saw each other. 

But today, Eddie stood terrified in front of a building he never thought he’d reenter. He finally, slowly, started taking steps toward the door. He raised his fist, gently tapping on the wood. 

It took about 30 seconds for Sonia Kaspbrak to open the door. She looked nearly the same, with more grey hair and deep set wrinkles. 

“Hey mom.”

“Can I help you with something?” she asked, face void of any emotion. Eddie wet his lips and continued turning his ring. 

“Can I come in? I, uh, have a lot to discuss with you.”

She blinked, but stepped aside to let him in. He mumbled a thanks, taking a tentative seat on the edge of the couch. His mother took a seat in her recliner, flicking off the television. They sat in silence for a long moment. 

“What are you doing here, Edward?” his mother finally asked. 

“Ben and Beverly- my friends from when I was a kid- are getting married this week. Richie and I traveled here with them for the wedding.”

She hummed. 

“You still with Richie?”

“Of course I am. He’s my soulmate, Ma.”

“I haven’t even seen your soulmark. Unless you’ve been lying about having one.”

“Why would I lie about that?” he asked quietly. 

“Well, go on. Let me see it then.”

With a bubble of humiliation rising in his stomach, Eddie slowly pulled his shirt over his head. He heard his mother slowly stand, gently touching his soulmark with her cold fingertips. 

“Well I’ll be damned,” she whispered. Eddie quickly pulled his shirt back on. 

“Did you think I’ve been lying to you all this time,” he asked, hurt curling in his chest. 

“I don’t know, you rebelled. How was I supposed to know how far you’d go? Lying about having a soulmate isn’t too extreme a conclusion to draw.”

“You think me stopping my medicine was rebelling? It was either hurting me or doing nothing. I would never lie about Richie.”

Sonia simply shrugged. Eddie sighed, running a hand through his hair. 

“We’re getting married, Ma. Richie asked me to marry him, and I said yes.”

She froze. 

“You’re too young, Eddie. You can’t be getting married.”

Eddie set his jaw, exhaling through his nose. 

“I’m 24 now, I am not too young. And even if I was, it’s none of your business anymore. That’s not why I’m here.”

“Then why are you here? To yell at me? You already did that when you were 17.”

“No, I’m not.” He sits back down on the couch. “I’m here because you need help. Do you know what I’m going to school for?” She shook her head. “I’m getting my masters in psychology so I can become a therapist. And I’ve learned that you have a mental disease called Munchausen disease by proxy.”

“That’s sounds absolutely ridiculous.”

“Does it? Because what you do with MDBP is you convince people they’re sick so you can control them. Typically a child. Sound familiar?”

His mother gapes for a moment, before brandishing a finger. 

“Now, you listen here-“

“No Mom, you listen. You need professional help. Because I’m going to tell you now, this will be the last time you see me if you don’t do something. Like I said when I graduated, I want to at least try to have a healthy relationship with my only living parent. But only if you do this one thing for me, because this is the only thing you could give me that’d I’d actually need.”

They were deathly silent. Eddie forced his palms flat against his knees so he wouldn’t fidget. 

“You’re really serious, aren’t you?”

“I am.”

“You’ve changed.”

“That’s what happens when you grow up.”

More silence. 

“You know I’m proud right? I always have been. But I feel anger too.”

“Because I left.”

She nods, staring down into her lap. 

“After your father, I hated everything. And I only had you. But I knew you’d leave me. So when your mark started coming in, I panicked. I couldn’t deal with you leaving.”

“I know that now. That’s why I want you to get help. Please.” He walks over and gently takes her hand in his. “Please, Mama.”

He watched as tears slowly began to fill her eyes, brown just like his. She nods. 

“Thank you, Mom.”

A car horn honks outside, and they both turned to see Richie sitting in a car by the curb. He looks at Eddie and taps his watch. 

“I have to go. Wedding stuff y'know.” She nods, letting go of Eddie’s hand. 

“Richie’s a lucky man.”

Eddie laughs to himself. 

“Funny, I think the same thing about myself everyday.”

And with that, he walked out of his old home and into the waiting arms of his new one. 

And he knew he’d never feel alone again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all so much! This story has been a total rollercoaster, and you’ve all given me nothing but support. So thank you. 
> 
> I’m thinking about adding a one shot about the wedding from Richie’s POV, so let me know if you’d be interested in that. 
> 
> I made some mood boards for this fic, you can find them here.   
> https://londone-fog.tumblr.com/post/166501714637/friday-never-hesitate-reddie-soulmate-au
> 
> And you can find me on tumblr at either  
> londone-fog  
> Or  
> cacti-cool  
> Send me some messages, I love chatting with you guys. 
> 
> And finally, thank you again.

**Author's Note:**

> I really hope you guys like this. Some good feedback would be greatly appreciated.


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